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 | It's a common and understandable mistake that the word "sex-positive" somehow should me being positive about sex. And it's a mistake lots of people who position themselves as sexual helpers of one sort or another make. But sex isn't a discrete experience that one can evaluate as positive or negative. Even when we're talking about something that appears concrete, like a physical sexual encounter between two or more people, there's no simple way of naming or knowing what each person experiences, or what the encounter itself produces. So we need to ask. We need to stop thinking that we know what sexuality feels like or is like for other people. We need to remember that when we say things like "sex is beautiful" or "masturbation is great" these seem like cruel or ignorant lies to many people for whom the opposite has only ever been true. It seems like strange adv ice from someone who makes a living talking and writing about sex, but if you really want to help, if you really want to learn, what you need to do is listen to others. It's the only way I ever have anything to say here. ~ Cory | |
The Rights and Privileges of Masturbation
Let's play a game. Think about the last four or five times you masturbated. Try to recall where you were, what you were doing, and what you were thinking and/or fantasizing about. Got it in your mind? Good. Now how would you feel about sharing, in vivid detail, your masturbatory fantasies? And not with a close friend or lover. Picture telling a doctor. Who is writing everything down. In a file. With your name on it.
| In Your Own Words: Good Sex, Bad Sex
Almost two years ago I posted an article where I tried to think through my own ideas of great sex. And at the same time I opened it up to readers to share their thoughts about what makes great sex great. Last year I asked you a different question: when does sex go bad for you, or how would you define what makes bad sex bad. I'm not sure what it means, but more than twice the number of people have responded to the bad sex question as the good one. If you're feeling particularly positive or negative about sex, you'll likely find someone whose definition resonates. And if not, you can add your own.
| 9 Lies We're Told About Sex
From "sex is spontaneous" to "bigger is better", the nine lies I'm tired of hearing about sex. The list is incomplete, so check it out, and then share your favorite (or least favorite) lies about sex.
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