About Sexuality: How Not to Shop for Sex Toys

If you can't see this email, click here

Sexuality Sexuality Sex Tips Sex Talk Sex Toys From Cory Silverberg, your Guide to Sexuality What exactly does it mean to say that a particular sex toy is a "gay sex toy" or "good for women"? For marketers it's a short form that relies on gender binaries and static identity constructions of sexual orientation. But try as we might, we aren't just consuming machines, passively moving our way through a series of options presented to us by manufacturers and retailers. We are individuals in community, and even if we use the same words to describe ourselves or our communities it never really translates to sameness in our sexual lives. Sex and identity is complicated for sure. Leaving it to others to define what our sex lives should or will look like may be less complicated, but it's also a lot less satisfying. I promise, I tried it for years. ~ Cory Label Jars, Not Sex Toys I'm always a bit puzzled by sex shops that have sections for "gay sex toys" or "lesbian sex toys" or even "couples sex toys". How the hell do they know what any given person or couple is looking for in a sex toy? They may be trying to be helpful (or more likely, just trying to make it easier for you to buy stuff) but it seems like it adds to the general confusion about the relationship between what sexy things we like to do, and who we like to do them with. Two very different questions. See More About:  sex toy shopping tips  sex toy marketing  Sexual Orientation Confusion There's so much pressure to present yourself in public as having one sexual orientation. And with a few neighborhood exceptions, the pressure is to present yourself as heterosexual. But privately many of us have questions and some confusion about sexual desire and what it does or doesn't say about sexual orientation. See More About:  sexual orientation  sexual confusion  sex advice Does Anal Sex Make Me Gay? I'll save you a click, the answer is no. (but you may want to click anyway, if you're not sure why). See More About:  anal sex  sexual orientation  sex advice How Do You Describe Sex? If someone asked you what sex feels like how would you answer? Would you focus on the physical sensations? The thoughts? The feelings? And which part of sex would you describe? Help me help someone who has never had sex, and offer your description in 100 words or less. See More About:  sex definitions  first time sex  Sexuality Ads Toys Toys Train Set Toys R Kids Toys & Games Toys on Sale Featured Articles Follow Me on Twitter! Sex Definition: Agalmatophilia Sexuality E-Course: Weekly Sex Position How to Give a Man a Handjob 9 Weeks to Better Sex If You Cheat, Do You Tell?   More from About.com Career Quizzes Not sure what you want to do when you grow up? Take a career quiz to see if your dream job is a good fit for your interests and skills. More> Self Assessments No quiz can magically tell you what to do with the rest of your life, but a combination of self assessment tools can help you decide. More> This newsletter is written by: Cory Silverberg Sexuality Guide Email Me | My Blog | My Forum   Sign up for more free newsletters on your favorite topics You are receiving this newsletter because you subscribed to the About Sexuality newsletter. If you wish to change your email address or unsubscribe, please click here. About respects your privacy: Our Privacy Policy Contact Information: 249 West 17th Street New York, NY, 10011 © 2011 About.com   Must Reads What Is Sex? Sex How Tos All About Orgasms Sex Toys 101 Sex Positions Pictures Advertisement